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Thursday, August 23, 2012

MARIELVIRA TRICKS, PART 1

LA CABEZA
en 1993 yo escribia -junto a los hermanos batista- para un show de tv de luca bentivogglio en telemundo. actuaban damien bichir (nominado para el oscar de este año), orestico matacena (el sempiterno malo de hollywood) y mike moroff (el pancho villa de las aventuras de indiana jones en tv). entonces matacena y bentivogglio van una noche a la suite que tenia marielvira en key biscayne, invitados a cenar. cuando aquello, ella empezaba en cbs telenoticias (sucursal de telemundo) y al otro dia me cuentan ambos -en choteos durante el lunch entre grabaciones- que marielvira les dijo que queria ser la barbara walters cubana. y matacena, como siempre, suelta: a la walters va y le atina pero lo de cubana esta dificil porque ella es portorra. lo que fuera, puertorriqueña o cubana, entrevisto a fidel castro en la habana en el 95 y se singo a ricardo alarcon en quintana roo en el 96 para engatuzarlo en un careo televisivo contra mas canosa al que ella le saco la la$ca requerida con el canal. pero entonces, en su apogeo como estrella noticiosa, marielvira mete la pata porque se faja con laura bozzo, la estrella verdadera de telemundo. incluso la bozzo era quien le daba comida a la cadena incluyendo a marielvira porque su programa enlatado desde lima -que costaba una mierda- le quito audiencia al de cristina saralegui en estados unidos, gracias al amarillismo y a la explotacion maxima de la miseria humana tercermundista. la boricua, invitada por la italo-inca a sus bacanales con altos funcionarios del gobierno de fujimori en peru, saca rivalidad con su anfitriona, no por hombres sino por hembras, y decide pisotearla cuando la otra cae envuelta en el escandalo de vladimiro montesinos e incluso testifica contra ella cuando el asunto de los tapes. pero lo que no calculo marielvira fue que la bozzo pudo transferir su prision domiciliaria para el estudio del canal en lima, y desde alli seguir produciendo su show para estados unidos ahora mas caro y con mas rating que nunca, por aquello de que publicidad mala que buena es publicidad al fin. y fue cuando laura bozzo, en una jugada de riesgo pero de desquite, le pide a mc'namara, el gerente de telemundo, que 'o ella o marielvira'. y la portorra se fue a taconear a la calle. se microlocalizo en miami. se fue a la radio a sacudirse la caca de encima diciendo que toda su relacion con laura fue para acceder a una entrevista con el fraudulento jefe de la inteligencia de fujimori; se agencio la frase cliche 'si yo con dios quien contra mi' (laura bozzo, imagino) y se colo en el 41, donde decidio empezar a usar sus piernas en vez de la cabeza. y mas cubana que nunca.©varela
PARTE 2: LA PIERNAS
PARTE 3: EL CULO

THE HEAD
in 1993 i was writing -among the batista brothers- for a tv show of luca bentivogglio in telemundo. there where acting damien bichir (nominated for the academy award this year), orestico matacena (the everlasting hollywood's villain) and mike moroff (the pancho villa of the adventures of indiana jones on tv). then a night matacena and bentivogglio went invited to a dinner at the suite that marielvira had in key biscayne. in tha epoch she began at cbs telenoticias (a news telemundo's branch). and the next day both of them -jocking during the lunch between recording sessions- told me as marielvira told them that she wanted to be the cuban barbara walters. and matacena pulled the leg saying: to the walters she can not miss, but this cuban thing will be hard 'cause she's puerto rican. whatever, puerto rican or cuban, she interviewed fidel castro in havana in '95 and she fucks ricardo alarcon in quintana roo in the '96 to tricked him in a tv confrontation against mas canosa to which she can get the required $lice with the channel. but then, in its heyday as a news star, marielvira put her foot in her mouth because it girdles with laura bozzo, the true star in telemundo. even the bozzo was who gave food to the network including marielvira because its canned program from lima -which cost a shit- took the audience from cristina saralegui inducted into united states, thanks to the sensationalism and maximum exploitation of third world human misery. the boricua, invited by the italo-inca to his bacchanalias with senior officials of the fujimori government in peru, out rivalry with her host, not by men but by females, and decides to trample it when the other falls involved in the scandal of vladimiro montesinos and even she testifies against her when the issue of the tapes. but what marielvira never thougt was that the bozzo could transfer her house arrest for the study of the tv channel in lima, and from there, she continues producing her show for united states, now more expensive and with more rating than ever, for what of bad or good advertising is advertising for the purpose. and it was when laura bozzo on a risk but revenge play, asks to telemundo chairman mc'namara, that 'or she or marielvira'. and the portorra hits the sreet with her heels. she settled in miami. went on the radio to shake the crap from her, saying that throughout her relationship with laura was to access an interview with fraudulent fujimori's intelligence chief; took the cliché phrase 'if i'm with god who against me' (laura bozzo, i think) and she got into 41's, where decided to start using her legs instead of the head. and more cuban than ever.
©varela
PART 2: THE LEGS
PART 3: THE ASS