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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

SERRUCHANDO EL PISO pulling the rug

hay gente que en la vida solo sirve para tapar huecos. llenar vacios. lo mismo con las mujeres que con los curralos. con eso de las jebas, habia uno que era el campeon, alla en santa clara, que se ligaba todas las novias que dejaban sus amigos. le deciamos el limpia pescera (ese pez que se dedica a chupar toda la baba verde del alga que se pega en los cristales de los acuarios domesticos). y en los curralos, para ponerles ejemplos mas recientes y conocidos, esta este caricaturista uruguayo que vino detras de mi tras el asalto al herald (no a asaltarlo, a trabajar). la gente me decia que era malisimo pero yo no le hacia caso a la gente porque imaginaba que me estaban tirando una toalla. entonces el otro dia me encuentro con alvaro el editor de progreso semanal y le digo -por protocolo- que me gustan las caricaturas del que tiene ahora ahi. y entonces me dice que es el mismo caricaturista que entro detras de mi en el herald. coño, imagino que cuando yo deje a mi puta ucraniana, tambien se la echa. es el eterno come sobras. otro que es igualito es carlucho el comico ese. el de la cara de puerquito. primero se lo hizo a carlos otero y ahora a fernando hidalgo. los 2 le dieron segmentos en sus programas para ayudarlo y despues les cogio el programa. con otero solo he tenido par de conversaciones triviales. pero dejenme hablarles de fernando hidalgo. este enano le puede caer mal a mucha gente, le dicen pujon o lo que sea, pero es una de las personas mas sensibles e inteligentes que he conocido en el circo de miami-hialeah. amigo y hombre a todo, asi chiquito como lo ven. cuando fernando me invito a su show a raiz de lo del herald -que nadie me daba pincha, ni cuba- me pregunta en el aire que estoy haciendo y le digo que de techero en homestead. al tipo se le aguaron los ojos. y me dice alli mismo ante su audiencia que desde ese momento tengo trabajo con el. me dio un segmento en su tv show durante año y pico. que luego, por presiones del canal, me tuvo que sacar, cuando yo puse en mi blog los anuncios de los charteadores a cuba. ahora fernando tuvo desacuerdos con romay el dueño del 41 y se largo al 22. lo normal en esta plaza. y para llenar el espacio, entonces romay agarro a carlucho. el problema es que quien primero le dio una mano a carlucho en tv fue fernando. lo metio alli a hacer muecas cuando nadie lo entendia porque acababa de llegar de cuba y traia ese humor denso del habanero actual, pseudo-intelectual de hiperboles sociales -todas justificativas- y trillo costumbrista del policia oriental y el pinareño estupido. imagino que cuando se vaya oscaraza tambien pongan a carlucho a entrevistar segurosos. y cuando se retire juan manuel cao, sienten a carlucho con cuello y corbata (de mantel ha de ser) a dar noticias de cuba. y cuando boten al portero, carlucho se ponga el uniforme y el walkie-talkie, y despues del ahi p'al canal 22, detras de fernando otra vez. menos pa' la habana.©varela 
there're people who only serves to plug gaps in life. to fill emptiness. the same with the women and the jobs. on the gals, i had one who was the champion, down there in santa clara, who partnered all brides who let their friends. we called him the acuarium cleaner (after that fish dedicated to suck all the green slime algae sticking in the domestic aquarium crystals). and to give examples more recent and known in the jobs, there is this uruguayan cartoonist that came after me when i assaulted the herald (not in the assault, i mean in the job). the people told me that he was malisimo but i did'nt pay attention because i imagined that they were pulling my leg. then the other day i meet alvaro, the editor of progreso weekly and i say him -by protocol- that i like the cartoons of the new guy which now has there. and then he tells me that it's the same cartoonist that entered in the herald after me. hell, i imagine when i leave my ukrainian bitch, he also got her. he's the eternal leftovers eater. and comedian carlucho is another one. the one with the little pig face. first he did it to carlos otero and now to fernando hidalgo. 2 of them gave him segments in their programs to help him and later he caught their programs. with otero, i only have had couple of trivial conversations. but let me tell you about fernando hidalgo. this dwarf can be a unlikable one. people say about him that he's not funny, whatever. but he's one of the most sensitive and intelligent persons that i've met in the miami-hialeah circus. friend of the friends and man to mens, so small as you can see him. when fernando invited me to his show as after the herald incident -when anyone gave me a job, nor even cuba- he ask me on air what i was doing; and i told him that i was a roofer in homestead. the guy got wet eyes. and he told in front of his tv audience that since then i have work with him. he gave me a segment on his tv show during a year and a half. then, under pressure from the channel, he had to let me go, when i put the cuba charters ads in my blog. now fernando had disagreements with romay, the channel 41's owner and he switched to channel 22. normal in this square. and to fill the space, then romay grabbed carlucho. the problem is that who first gave a hand to carlucho on tv was fernando. it got there to make grimaces when nobody was understanding him because he has just arrived from cuba and brought that dense humor of the current, pseudo-intelectual habanero with social hyperbole -all justifications- and national slangs about the oriental police officer and the dumb pinareño (as rednecks and black cops in american culture). i imagine that when oscar haza get finished, carlucho starts interviewing dissidents. and when annchor juan manuel cao make his check out, carlucho delivers the cuba news with suit and tie (from a tablecloth, i think). and when the security guard get fired, carlucho will take the uniform and the walkie-talkie, and then, to there to the channel 22 behind fernando again (havana not included).©varela