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Saturday, August 18, 2012

THE MIAMI UNABOMBER

tony de la cova es una especie de unabomber (ted kaczynski) miamense, pero con el pelo pintado de caoba como las viejas de key biscayne. convicto de terrorismo en estados unidos, se hizo historiador para meternos mas bombas: sus cuentos. como todo lo cuenta a su manera es logico que las bombas en la ciudad explotaron solas. y sus cuentos no explotan, implosionan. son mas peligrosos que sus bombas. como ademas de sus instintos pirotecnicos tenia urgencias de escritor, a mediados de la decada del 70 de la cova escribia para el periodiquito libertad de rolando masferrer, ese gangster con leyenda urbana de que abofeteo a fidel castro en el bonche universitario pero que de la cova asegura que es mentira: masferrer mataba, no galleteaba. la verdad es que de la cova cayo preso en 1976 por explotar una tienda de pornografia -de esas que venden peliculas de relajo, folletos eroticos y pingas de goma- de la 8 y la 34 porque dicen que creia que era de un agente castrista. fue tan comico el juicio a de la cova que su abogado, bob josefsberg, lo tuvo que defender asi en la corte: no ha sido facil, señor juez. hemos tenido muchos desacuerdos, y disiento por completo de las manifestaciones que el señor de la cova me ha pedido leer. he tratado de enseñarle a tony que colocar bombas para atraer la atencion a una causa no es la forma de hacerse oir en este pais. para mi la forma de hacerse oir en este pais es en un tribunal libre, como este. bueno, el juez no dejo hacerse oir a de la cova, le metio 65 años por la cabeza. en el 78 desde la cana, de la cova comenzo a publicar una columna en el semanario la cronica en puerto rico, y la emprendio contra carlos muñiz varela hasta que 6 meses despues lo balearon. de la cova luego fue quien se puso a inventar cuentos sobre los motivos del asesinato de muñiz varela para desvirtuarlo, sugiriendo un problema entre castristas. en el 82 de la cova salio bajo indulto (cumplio 6 años de sus 65) y se fue con libertad condicional a puerto rico a dirigir la cronica porque se empezo a singar a su directora, glorita gil. entonces en el 84, con el pseudonimo de armando andré, de la cova publico aquellas famosas fotos de la autopsia de muñiz varela que le dieron la vuelta al exilio y saco otra teoria mas: que su muerte estuvo vinculada a sexo y mafia. esto le valio una demanda civil por daños y perjuicios de parte de la viuda de muñiz varela en la corte boricua. para cuadrar buena conducta con los federales, de la cova siguio sus psicoterapias escritas contra los macheteros (a quienes acusaba de pone-bombas en san juan) y se invento una listica de supuestos cubanos castristas donde puso gente de huber matos, como varandela y rodriguez camejo, acusandolos de agentes del g-2. entonces en el 85 de la cova cayo preso en puerto rico por violar las condiciones de su probatoria. en la carcel un grupo de separatistas lo quisieron linchar y para salvarse se unio a ellos. en el 88 todos los separatistas subversivos afuera de la carcel cayeron presos a manos del f.b.i., mientras de la cova se desaparecio de puerto rico y glorita gil comenzo a hablar mal de el por todos lados y a regar que tony la habia dejado plantada y arrancada. entonces en 1995 de la cova aparece en la florida como profesor universitario, graduado de historia. y a partir de alli comienza a integrarse a la vida 'academica' local y a ir a programas de radio y shows de television con el rotulo de doctor. asi se pone a hablar mierda y a contar intrigas con toda clase de cuento chino habilidosamente hilvanado. a proposito de cuento chino, fue el caricaturista pong quien primero me mencionase a de la cova cuando un dia me comento que este decia -porque leia mi blog- que yo tenia una produccion tan prolifera y exagerada, que debia escribir bajo los efectos de algun estimulante o alucinogeno. luego el escritor nestor diaz de villegas, conversando conmigo sobre el asalto al moncada, me sugirio el cuentecito que escribio de la cova al respecto, porque le lucia entretenido e interesante, con datos sacados de algun lado. lo baje de internet y me puse a ojearlo. despues de unos parrafos uno le ve la coña detras. es un compendio burdo de leyendas y chismes del exilio arreglado a su manera. este pillo que se vende de conocedor de historia es uno de los que suministra datos al blog de emilio ichikawa y uno de los que mas me ataca en internet. y por pendejo y maricon como es -y siempre lo ha sido- lo hace bajo pseudonimos y anonimato. pero tal y como de la cova se ha dedicado a revisar la historia ya le revisaron la de el. y ayer me cuenta un amigo la verdadera razon por la que el doctor de la cova (cuando aquello, freedom fighter) le puso la bomba a la tienda pornografica. no fue porque penso que eran castristas ni la cabeza de un guanajo, sino porque le cargaron en exceso un vibrador que incluso le vendieron sin baterias. cuando de la cova regreso airado protestando por el precio y exigiendo las pilas, el administrador del local le dijo: no joda mas y acabe de meterselo por el culo! de la cova regreso esa noche y le puso la bomba. ahora que venga alguien y me diga si esto es otro cuento chino de tony de la cova.©varela 
tony de la cova is some kind of miami's unabomber (ted kaczynski) but with his hair dyed mahogany as the key biscayne's old ladies. convicted of terrorism in united states he became a historian to get involved now in more bombs: his stories. as all it has in its own way it's logical that the bombs in the city exploded by it'selves. and his tales don't explode, implode. are more dangerous than his bombs. as in addition to his pyrotechnics instincts he had writing needs, in the mid-70 de la cova wrote for the tabloid libertad of rolando masferrer, that gangster with an urban legend about that he slaps fidel castro at havana university, but de la cova says that's a lie: masferrer killed people, punch nobody. the true is de la cova fell prisoner in 1976 by bombing a porn store -the kind that sells dirty movies, erotic booklets and rubber dicks- at 8 street and 34 avenue, because he said that believed the store was owned by a castro's agent. it was so funny the trial to de la cova 'cause his lawyer, bob josefsberg, it had to defend him in court as following: has not been easy, mister judge. we have had many disagreements, and i disagree completely with everything mister de la cova has asked me to read. i have tried to teach tony that placed bombs to draw attention to a cause is not the way to be heard in this country. to me, the way to be heard in this country is in a free court like this. well, the judge didn't heard to de la cova, he put 65 years over his head. in '78 from the prison, de la cova began to publish a column in the weekly la cronica in puerto rico, against carlos muñiz varela until 6 months later he was shot. then de la cova was who invented stories about the reasons for the murder of muñiz varela to nullify it, suggesting a problem between castroites. in '82 de la cova came under pardon (met 6 years of their 65) and went out with conditional to puerto rico as chief editor of la cronica, because he began to fuck the director, gloria gil. then in '84, under the pseudonym of armando andré, de la cova published that famous muñiz varela autopsy photos that were circulating in the exile and sack another theory: that his death was linked to sex and mafia. which worth him a civil suit for damages and detriments on the part of the widow of muñiz varela in the puerto rican court. to match good behavior with the feds, de la cova followed their written psychotherapies against the macheteros (whom he accused as unabombers in san juan) and invented a list of castroites cubans assumptions where he put huber matos men like varandela and rodriguez camejo, as g-2 agents. then in '85 de la cova got in prison in puerto rico for violating conditions of his probation. in prison a group of separatists wanted to lynch him and to save himself de la cova joined them. in '88 all subversive separatists out of the jail fell prisoners at the hands of the f.b.i., while de la cova is disappeared from puerto rico and gloria gil began to speak ill of him everywhere spreading that tony had left her planted and with no money. then in 1995 de la cova appears in florida as a university lecturer, a graduated of history. and thereafter begins to insert himself into the 'academic' local life and go to radio programs and television shows with the label of doctor. so he starts talking shit and telling intrigues with all kinds of tall tales skillfully basting. to purpose of tall tale, it was pong cartoonist who first mention me of the cova when one day told me that he said -because he was reading my blog- that my production is so widespread and exaggerated, that has to be written under the influence of any stimulant or hallucinogen. then the writer nestor diaz de villegas, talking with me about the assault on the moncada barracks, suggested the tale de la cova wrote about it, because was pretty entertaining and interesting, with data taken from somewhere. i download it to take a look at it. after a few paragraphs you see the joke behind. it's a crude summary of legends and gossip from exile arranged in their own way. this rogue who sells of connoisseur of history is one that supplies data to the blog of emilio ichikawa and one who attack me more on internet. a coward and faggot as it is -and always has been- always did that under pseudonyms and anonymity. but as de la cova has devoted to revise the history already has reviewed his own. and yesterday a friend tells me the real reason why the doctor de la cova (then as freedom fighter) put the bomb to the porn store. it was not because he thought that were a castroite place -nor other shit- but because they charged him in excess a vibrator even sold without battery. when de la cova returned angry protesting the price and requiring batteries, the local manager told him: stop fucking around and just put it up your ass! de la cova returned that night and put the bomb. now that somebody say to me if this is another of the tall tales of tony de la cova.©varela